Stuck in the Tracks

I'm back here again. I'm 27, on my second career, and still trying to get an A in life.

I've found my way onto another pre-career track (medicine) and my days are spent memorizing facts I will assuredly forget, stressing about "the curve," worry if what I've done will be enough to get me into med school. And then what? What will be different?

The grooves of the tracks I've laid in my mind are deep. I've read things, experienced things that have made me more conscious and aware. But I'm still here, toiling away after security, prestige, perfection. I can't get off the track.

How do I stop this madness? How do I stop kidding myself into thinking peace and fulfillment lies around the next corner, after the next diploma? How do I gather the courage (and the money) to live the way I want: creatively, honestly, intuitively?

I want to be a truth-teller, live without a mask and an undefended heart, keep no secrets. Meet those souls who vibrate at that frequency in the clearing of truth because I've dug deep and found the courage to go there myself. I suppose I'll start here.